How Great is our God May 23, 2008

I don’t even know where to begin. In the past few months my life has really turned around, for what I believe to be the better. I am not the same person I was six months ago, or even three months ago for that matter. I gave my heart back to God, fully and completely, and for the first time in my life I am truly praying and seeking him about things instead of relying on my own answers. This is hard for me, I’ll admit. I like being in control of what’s happening in my life, the unknown terrifies me. It seems that right now there are a lot of unknowns in my life, and you better believe it is driving me CRAZY!!! They are all worries about the future, because I am a very future minded person. I like to think out what’s going to happen, how it could happen when thinking about my future. But it’s not for me to decide! God already has my life mapped out perfectly, and just wants to me to be patient and trust him. Why is such a simple thing like that so hard?

I have already experienced that God’s timing is immaculate. Seriously, it’s almost creepy. This seems kind of lame to admit, but what the heck…Before the start of the new year I asked God that I would make a new friend that I could be close to. Since moving to Orlando, I was afraid to move out of my bubble and meet people, and I only knew three or four people here. Instead of giving me one friend, He blessed me with everyone at C3. Amazing. Another crazy God timing thing happened last night. Katie already blogged about it, so go read it there! God has been answering my prayers and providing for me left and right. Not always in the way I was expecting or the timing I hoped for, but He ends up doing it way better than I could have planned for. I am simply blown away by how amazing He is!

There is still one big prayer, the one I pray about over and over and over. It’s probably the most difficult one for me to trust Him on. I blogged about it a while ago. I know what I want to happen in this specific situation, but I am waiting for Him to clue me in if what I want lines up with what He wants.

I started writing out my prayers this week for two reasons. One…it helps me stay focused on talking to God. I get sidetracked so easily when I pray quietly, so writing as I’m thinking helps me tremendously! Two…it gives me something to look back on. When God answers a prayer or does something crazy amazing, I can open up my journal and be like, ‘Hey, I asked Him to help me with that last week!’

Anyways, I’m meeting Monica for lunch in 30 minutes and I’m still in my PJ’s! Time to go get presentable Me and Katie are going on a new house search, this time for a 4 bedroom place, I can’t wait!

Also, congrats to Kayleigh who will be a highschool graduate by tonight!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a nerd. May 22, 2008

In a flurry of scientific excitement, I just had to blog about my science class!! I LOVE IT! It’s actually a class about how to teach science to elementary students, but I am learning scientific concepts that I never learned when I was in school. We do the coolest experiments and activities! Like last week…we got to design parachutes and then drop them from a 2nd story balcony and time how long it took them to descend. Then we had like 20 minutes to redesign or modify them to make them descend at a slower rate! It was soooo much fun! I could go on and on about the cool things we do in this class, but I’m sure no one really cares about the characteristics of peanut, lol! I am so psyched to go teach a kid about suction or something

I love science. I am a nerd. I proudly own up to to it.

The end.

Beloved May 20, 2008

I was expecting to have so much spare time this summer, but boy was I wrong. I’m really looking forward to this weekend, I will finally be able to stop and relax for a long weekend! I’m foreseeing a few long days by the pool and maybe some shopping at IKEA for the townhouse (which we are still waiting to hear about)!

Earlier this week I swore to myself I was done with fast food! Well, I fell off the wagon and got Wendy’s for lunch today. I keep trying to justify it because I got a salad with my meal instead of fries…that makes it ok, right? I’m really glad that I am starting dance class tomorrow! That will get me motivated to eat better and get my butt back to the gym! Then my next step will be to stop eating chocolate cake. I think I’ll try weening myself off of it, quitting cold turkey would be too hard, ha ha! I sound like an addict or something. I have this issue with always feeling tired no matter how much sleep I get, and I feel better when I eat right and exercise consistently. Obviously living a healthy lifestyle will make me feel more energized, but I am struggling with staying away from that dang Taco Bell. I can’t wait to move away from that wretched place!

Last night I went to see Tenth Avenue North! I saw them in concert about four years ago and loved them, so when I found out Kayleigh was going to their concert I was really excited. So I bummed a ride with Kayleigh, Barry, Josh, and Ryan to the church, because I would have gotten totally lost otherwise. The concert was awesome! I was a bit bummed they didn’t play anything from the album that I know, but their new stuff was good. There is one song on the new CD (which I bought) called Beloved. It is such a beautiful song! I’ll post the lyrics here, but you should definitely check out their myspace! Like I said, I’m a huge fan of their older music, so if you’d like to hear it I could burn a CD.

I thought that this song was an amazing representation of how Christ views his bride, the church. Sometimes it’s hard to think about and understand how God loves us. When you think of it in terms of how a husband loves his wife, I think it makes it more real to us, because we understand that type of relationship. Anyway, I fell in love with this song and was reminded in a powerful way just how much God loves us!

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes

There you will find what you need

Give me your life

The lust and the lies

And the past you’re afraid I might see

You’ve been running away from me

YOU’RE MY BELOVED LOVER

I’M YOURS

DEATH SHALL NOT PART US

IT’S YOU I DIED FOR

FOR BETTER OR WORSE

FOREVER WE’LL BE

MY LOVE IT UNITES US AND IT BINDS YOU TO ME

IT’S A MYSTERY

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes

There you will find what you need

I’m the giver of life

I’ll clothe you in white

My immaculate bride you will be

Come running home to me

You’ve been a mistress, my wife

Chasing lovers that won’t satisfy

Won’t you let me make you my bride

You will drink of my lips and you’ll taste new life

Maid of Honor…It’s not all fun & games! May 14, 2008

Yesterday my Mom asked to me to do a scripture or poetry reading during her wedding, and left it up to me to find one. So…I’ve spent a good hour searching online for something decent. My favorite verse of all time is 1 Corinthians 13, but that is the typical wedding scripture, so I was trying to find something a little more original. I put my top 3 below, please let me know which you like the best, or if you have another idea!

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues^[1] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[2] but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

______________________________________________________________________________________

How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Some random quote about love:

Love is a friendship that has caught fire.
It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving.
It is loyalty through good and bad.
It settles for less than perfection,
and makes allowances for human weakness.
Love is content with the present.
It hopes for the future and it doesn’t brood over the past.
It’s the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems,
compromises, small disappointments, big victories,
and working toward common goals.
If you have love in your life,
it can make up for a great many things you lack.
If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is,
it is not enough, so search for it, ask God for it, and share it!

A Big Dose of Perspective May 12, 2008

Finally I have a few minutes to blog! I don’t know that I can find the words to describe the weekend, but I will try my best. I guess the best description would simply be life changing…

Friday I met up with C3 in downtown Orlando, where we partnered with Feed the Children to give 400 families of 4 enough food for an entire week. I arrived there at about 10:00 when they started dispersing the food, and by 11:11 we had given out the very last box! It was a bittersweet experience for me, because as happy as I was that we were able to help these families, I knew that they needed so much more. Most people that came requested several boxes of food, and I could tell by their faces that they were so desperate to get as much as they could to provide for their families. Seeing the malnourished children sitting the back seats of cars with no car seats or even seat belts was so hard to watch. I am so glad that we were able to give them something, I just wish we could all do more. One woman in particular who was eight months pregnant walked quite a distance in the heat with her two small children to get food! A couple of the ladies from C3 drove her back to her apartment with the food. Those are the lengths that these people were going to just to feed their families. It was truly heartbreaking.

Saturday I went with Karen and Stephanie (and of course baby Madison!) to Friends Together camp. It is a camp for people who are infected with or affected by HIV. It serves as a getaway for these children and teens to escape the harshness of living in the world with HIV or having a parent or relative with HIV. It allows them to talk openly about their lives and feelings without fear or ridicule or rejection. These are kids who have lived unimaginably hard lives because of this disease. We were able to stay for Open Mic Night, which was by far one of the most emotional and empowering things I have ever witnessed. One girl in particular (who was about 12 years old) wrote a poem called “Why?”, which she read for everyone at Open Mic. Her poem questioned why people have to have this life threatening disease in their lives, and why her life has been ruined by HIV. She spoke of how she is tired of her peers asking her why she takes over 70 pills a day, and having to explain to them that she is HIV positive. She expressed her hatred towards her mother for passing this disease on to her. By this time I already had tears pouring out of my eyes, and trying very hard to keep from completely sobbing. But then she went on to say how much this camp has done for her, and how it lifts her spirits and keeps her going. Absolutely heart wrenching. There were over a dozen other stories like this, but this girl’s poem stuck out to me the most. I definitely plan on returning to this camp throughout the year, because I want to be a part of providing a safe haven for these kids to come to, where they can just be themselves.

I know that I get so wrapped up in my life and my problems, that I forget about the people out their that are in so much more need than I am. Being a part of these two events opened my eyes, not only to these people’s suffering, but to how selfish I can be. I’ve always felt bad for people like them, but shrugged it off as, that really stinks for them. No more. I feel compassion for them now. They need God, and they need to see Christians showing them God’s love. I feel so honored to be a member of C3 church, because we are taking steps to go out into the community and show these people who God is and what he wants for them. This is not about patting ourselves on the back for “good deeds”, but just about appreciating being a part of a church that gets it.

My heart is full to the brim of things I would love to express, but time won’t permit me to right now.

4.0 Baby! May 7, 2008

I had to write a celebratory post because of all my grades from spring semester were finally posted, and…

DRUM ROLL PLEASE….

I got a 4.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am over the top excited, because I took 6 classes this past semester, and all of them were 4000 level classes which is as high as they get in undergrad. That is a huge accomplishment for me!

Ok, that’s all. Ha ha, I was just mucho happy!

Early Morning Yoga…Friend or Foe? May 6, 2008

I have spent my morning searching for and downloading music, because I have gotten myself into a music rut. I have a ton of music on my ipod, but I probably only listen to 15% of the music I have on there, and I’m bored with it. My brother has been bugging me to download songs from some of the bands he likes. He has ridiculously good taste in music, so I don’t know why I haven’t done this sooner. But anyway, I feel much better now that I have a new playlist

I need some happy endorphins! I’m still recovering from being sick and need a little boost. Every night I set my alarm for the yoga class at UCF, and every morning I hit the snooze button and don’t go. I hate that about myself. I am so not a morning person. I wish the gym would schedule a 1:00 yoga class, because then I might actually show up and be in shape. Uh. I’m dragging my lazy butt down to the apartment complex gym to run on the treadmill for a bit since I missed yoga, again. This is especially important because I made a chocolate cake last night, and I can say with absolute certainty that it will be gone by the end of the weekend. I am seriously considering joining a chocolate cake eaters anonymous group soon

Tomorrow morning I’m going to eat at Morning Glories in Avalon with the c3 ladies. I am super excited! I have never eaten at Morning Glories, but google has only great things to say about their food I am also looking forward to meeting some new women from church. After breakfast I have an appointment to go look at a townhouse that is for rent. This place is adorable! I really hope that we can nail this one down. It’s in our price range, has a washer and dryer, and includes cable. Hopefully the landlord will be willing to hold the place until July!

Alright. I am putting on my running shoes and going to the gym. Seriously, I’m half way out the door!

…slight chance that it’s already raining… May 4, 2008

Well, I took a short hiatus from blogging, but I’m back! It’s been such a crazy, busy week!

I had the chance to hang out quite a bit with my new c3 friends, which was pretty sweet! I just want to say thank you to all of you, you have all made me feel so welcome and I truly appreciate that. I look forward to getting to know you all better!

So with that being said…I guess I’ll do a quick recap of my week, because I’m exhausted and have nothing else on my mind to write about.

Wednesday: I started my (4 hour long!) Reading Practicum class. I LOVE my teacher, she is really knowledgeable and I think that I am going to learn a tremendous amount in this class. The big assignment in the class is a case study, which is a bit intense. I’m going to work with Matthew, who is one of the triplets that I used to be a nanny for. I miss them so much, so I’m pretty excited to get to hang out with him (even if it is for school). I also went to community groups. We talked about chapter 6 in Velvet Elvis. We only have one chapter left! And our team totally won catch phrase, again!

Thursday: I got my hair cut, but was otherwise completely uneventful.

Friday: I was off work so I went and ran errands and had a “me day” lol. I got my haircut fixed, because they lady who cut it was not so good. No one is ever cutting my hair again. Seriously. Me and Karen went shopping too, which is always fun.

Saturday: Beach day!! I got up way too early to go the beach with our c3 community group. It ended up raining for like 20 minutes, but the rest of the time we were there it was gorgeous! We played ultimate disc and volley ball. I would like anyone who witnessed my awful volleyball skills to permanently erase that memory from their brain…thanks! Later in the day we went to watch the softball game that our church was playing in. I was really excited because I love to go to baseball games, but it ended up pouring rain on us, again. Of course I knew it was going to rain, because apparently I have had hidden meteorology skills all of this time, and they just came out yesterday! (I am never, ever going to live that one down.) After going home and changing out of wet clothes once again, we went to the Ale House for dinner. By that time I was completely wiped out and just wanted to go to sleep, but I was starving! We had a good time though. Especially learning about “the state game” and watching Josh try to clap like the world’s fastest clapper, ha ha.

Sunday: Me and Karen went to the 9:00 service this morning, because we had the Discovering c3 class at 10:30. Then we went to lunch at lazy moon, which I must say was hysterical. There was this girl in there that was apparently waiting for her blind date, so when Ryan walked in she asked him if he was Brad, and when he said no she looked so sad, lol. Brad did show up eventually and it seemed like they hit it off. They probably thought we were nuts, because we were watching them the whole time. I have never witnessed a real life blind date, so I was slightly intrigued. After lunch (and jeremiah’s) I came home and passed out for like 4 hours I talked to my Mommy for a while about her wedding, which will be sometime within the next month or so. Talk about a last minute wedding! I’m really happy for her though.

All of my Sunday night shows are over, so I think I’m going to do a little painting. It’s been a while since I’ve worked on one. It’s not going to be the next Starry Night or anything, but hopefully I’ll find some inspiration.

Goodnight!